This post is the first of a series of articles about executive lessons learned from VOCA's Life@Work 2024 Report. Get the full report here.
The “Like-Me” Fallacy
I have the privilege of talking at length with CEOs and Founders as an advisor, a provider of executive development to members of their teams, and a friend. One of the most common themes I hear in unfiltered conversations is some version of the “Like-Me” Fallacy.
Version 1: Like-me balance and wisdom. When key players on their teams don’t measure up to expectations, CEOs and Founders wonder why these colleagues can’t be more “like me.” “Like me–nice and productive.” “Like me-smart and relational.” “Like me, careful and decisive.”
Version 2: Like-me commitment and sacrifice. CEOs and Founders have a do whatever it takes attitude when it comes to solving customer-related problems and moving the firm forward. Nights and weekends are part of the deal; they get it. They don’t get why other team members aren’t willing to demonstrate the same “like-me” commitment and sacrifice.
Version 3: Like-me agency and autonomy. CEOs and founders live with an extreme sense of agency–they have the power to impact the firm's trajectory for good or ill. They also enjoy a great deal of autonomy, seamlessly toggling between work and personal pursuits, blending the two as they decide. “Why do my team members ask so many questions before taking action? Why can’t they just drive forward, like me?”
A Fallacy Not Born of Malice
The “Like-Me” Fallacy is not born of malice or even pride in most cases. It is built on optimism and urgency. Optimism that a better future is buildable. Optimism that, with effort, people can grow and expand their performance horizons. Optimism that under the right circumstances, people can be trusted with work that has an impact on enterprise performance.
The second factor is urgency. When it comes to driving towards a better future, where the virtues of profitability reach every stakeholder, there is not a moment to lose. Effective enterprise leaders pull their teams into the future. They know that you either innovate and keep growing or die. They know that acting with 90% certainty is almost always wiser than waiting for 100%. They know that speed keeps you ahead of an ever-changing market landscape.
Optimism about people and urgency around change form a CEO to think everyone around the table is a true peer, ready to grab a piece of the pie and win together right now.
While born of the positive, the assumption that your key reports should be like you as a CEO impedes your ability to mentor and develop them into the higher-level players they could be. “Like-me” is thwarting you from leading them to the better future you envision. In the remainder of this piece, we will look at several reasons the like-me instinct is a fallacy and then explore four practices to overcome it.
Why “Like-Me” is a Fallacy
Wiring: When our team works with high performers, we utilize a series of assessments that flesh out their wiring. You cannot escape your natural bent–you can harness it, manage it, and work around it, but you ignore it to your peril. Everyone on your team is wired differently.
Outlook: This is about how you see your current landscape and future. In our primary research, we’ve found that CEOs and Senior Teams tend to be more optimistic about their work than everyone else in the company.
Compensation: Directly related to #2 may be the fact that just about every CEO is an owner or is paid with shares of ownership. Owners think of a business as an asset, not as a job. Owners know you invest in an asset, see it increase in value, and then you sell the asset. They don’t aspire to land the perfect job like employees. They aspire to multiply their wealth by increasing the value of the company and existing. This is a fundamentally different mindset from the average worker.
Financial Security: Many of the CEOs I know are no longer working for money. They are financially secure and could maintain some semblance of their current lifestyle indefinitely, picking up board work and consulting gigs along the way if needed. Most people don’t live that way; they are not sure how they’d handle a major financial need (defined as $500.00 in unplanned bills).
Experience: Senior high performers are exposed to a range of experiences that their less senior peers are not: industry summits, the counsel of board members and investors, similarly accomplished peers in other industries, and prior successes and failures. CEOs have access to information and learning that their reports do not.
Agency: CEOs and Founders are comfortable making decisions. While no one is above accountability, they rarely think, “I’m not sure I can do that; I’ll have to ask.” They can spend money as they choose (with understood limits). They can hire needed team members and fire those who are poor fit and poor performers. They “do” rather than ask or wonder.
Factors like these mean that most of your employees are not playing the same game as you. They are, in a sense, “following” someone else, probably you. Yet, with a bit of circumspection and some intentionality, you can empower them to take on more responsibility as you drive your organization forward.
Here are four practices to accelerate your team’s maturation and help it become more like what you envision it to be:
Curiosity: Be curious about what motivates your team to work at your firm. You should be able to answer the following question for each team member: “What game are they playing?” Options might include making a living so they can fund their favorite pastime, keeping their toe in the work water while they raise a family, putting their kids through school, padding their resume for future advancement, building wealth, the final act of their career, etc. It is very hard to feed their motivation if you don’t know what it is (or assume it’s the same as yours).
Replace Assumptions with Expectations: One of my mentors helped me understand the difference between assumptions and expectations. Assumptions are unspoken and implied, while expectations are discussed and agreed upon. Chances are that many of your deepest frustrations are due to unspoken hopes about how your key players will act and perform. By explicitly discussing what you expect and seeing if they agree, you will bring a lot of clarity to both sides of the equation.
Celebrate Failure: In the startup world, we celebrate the idea of failing fast and often, which means we have multiple options to meet customer needs until we land on the version of the product or service that fits. Creating an atmosphere where good efforts at market wins are celebrated no matter what the outcome creates a culture of customer-centric safety. Your team members will be more likely to act decisively for the best interest of your customers/clients, taking some of the initiative off your desk.
Strategically Invest: Each one of us is the product of our history. How are you providing the kinds of development experiences that will shape them into the strategic actors and initiators you crave on the senior team? From offsites to book studies, executive education to peer societies, there are a multitude of options. Start by asking yourself what three behaviors and skills you need to thrive over the next year and a half. Where did you learn those behaviors and skills? How can you bring your C-suite team along in those disciplines?
As a Christian, developing others, lifting them up to your level, is a component of the call to disciple. Jesus said when a person is fully trained, they become like their teacher (Luke 6:40). The apostle Paul tells Timothy to find the faithful who can be trained up to each other (2 Timothy 2:2). It is not enough to tell people what to do, you must strategically invest to grow the capacity of those who work for you.
Next time, you ask yourself “Why can’t they be more like me?” Remember, if they were exactly like you, you’d be out of a job! Your role as a leader is to create a learning environment, a culture of explicit and agreed-upon expectations, and a place where each report is developed to their full potential.
This will empower your core to be more like you in the best way, driving innovation and scale.
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